– I got a couple questions for you. – Just get ready for the answer. I hope you strong. – Now I’m kinda scared now. Like, should I ask you those questions—
– See, this is my problem with men. They always scurred!
– No, I mean, I’m not scared. It’s not about you!
– They always scurred! – What it do, babyyy? This is Serge Ibaka aka Mafuzzy Chef. Welcome to “How Hungry Are You?” Today, I will be cooking for Tiffany Haddish. – I see a lotta pizza boxes in here so that mean the crew don’t wanna eat whatever he makin’. – Tiffany loves to garden. So today, I’m making…worm salad. ♪♪♪ Ready?
– [Offscreen:] Yep, here we go. – So now, I am about to boil the worm. I have to make sure I boil my worm before I cook it because I want my worm to be clean. While this is boiling, I’m gonna build the salad. Oh, man. This is gonna look so good. Now it’s time to fry those creepy crawlers. A little bit of garlic. It’s always necessary. [Sizzling]
Can you smell that? Mmm. – What is he makin’? I don’t know! Like, is he takin’, like, a swan’s assh–e and sautéing it? Cuz I seen the show. I seen him make bull d–ks and and all kinda s–t! – It may look this bad, but when she try it, she gonna enjoy it. Trust me. ♪♪♪ [Ding] Oh, Jordi’s texting me. ♪♪♪ – [Offscreen:] Places, please. – Heyyy, wassup, wassup, wassup, wassup?!
– Ooh, looking beautiful. Look at you. – Thank you, thank you.
– How are you? It took me, like, two, three hours to cook this food for you.
– Really? I’m the first movie star that’s been on here too as well, right? – Yes, you right about that.
– OK, then you better put the time in. – I did. My only thing is, you have to make sure you have to eat that food. – I’ll eat it as long as it’s prepared— – It’s prepared well. So well. – I cooked for you too.
– You’re eating those hands tonight. – I cooked for you too. I—
– You cooked for me? – Yeah, I cooked for you too.
– Oh, I can’t wait. – I never come to a party, especially a dinner party, empty-handed. ♪♪♪ – I got a couple questions for you. – Just get ready for the answer. I hope you strong. – Now I’m kinda scared now. Like, should I ask you those questions—
– See, this is my problem with men. They always scurred!
– No, I mean, I’m not scared. It’s not about you!
– They always scurred! – Lemme tell you something about me— – Why you so scurred?!
– I’m not scared about you, OK? But I’m scared about people who are gonna watch.
– Uh-huh. Is this show PG-13? – It’s PG-13, yeah.
– OK, cool. I gotchu. – You got me?
– I know how to edit myself. – We agree?
– You know I got a TV show comin’ out with a bunch of kids called “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” so—
– OK. – I’ll just talk to you like
I would talk to one of them. – Tiffany, if there’s only a way to answer
something R-rated you can do it and we’ll see what happens. – [Haddish] Yeah, yeah. I mean, I’m very good at this. Don’t worry. I’ve done lots of talk shows too. I don’t know if you know
this, but I kills talk shows. Let’s go. – OK. Next question, right? Yeah, I don’t have to rush anything. – Nah. – OK.
– Take your time, brotha, take your time. – I’mma take my time—you
know I like to take my time. – I don’t know that. – [Laughing]
– You don’t know that? – I don’t know that.
– I always like to take my time, even even, when I cook this food for you— – Uh-huh.
– I took my time. – OK. Well, when I cooked the food for you,
it was right when I got off work— – Do you, do you like to take your time?
– And I whipped it up, and I did it with a smile the whole time, so it’s—
– A smile, huh? Did you put some love on that too? – Eh…I did it with a smile. I did a lot of smilin’ and—
– I’m asking you— – And, and cheerin’.
– No love? Smiling and love are different. – Yeah, but I don’t know what your
definition of love is, – So that’s why I’m
– No, love is love! – I don’t share it with everybody.
– No, you can share love with everybody. – No you can share joy.
– I share, I share my love. – You can share joy. – I share my love with
people I don’t know. – Yeah, that’s what a lotta basketball players do.
– No— – [Laughing] How does it feel being a black
woman in the film industry? – I guess it feels pretty normal, uh, cuz I don’t know what it feels—
– It’s pretty normal? – I don’t know what it feels like to be any other kinda person in the film industry cuz I’ve only been a black woman. But you know, I’m white on paper. On my paperwork, I checked the “white”
box, cuz I did my 23andMe and I have a percentage of Caucasian in me – Wait, wait, wait.
– So when I fill out my paperwork, I claim my white side. – You think that’s why—that’s helped
you be in Hollywood and successful in Hollywood? – I don’t know if it helped me be
successful in Hollywood, but I know it helps with, like, taxes and, like, gettin’ a Black Card and my credit score.
– [Ibaka:] [Laughing] – Oh, really?
– Soon as I started claimin’ white, my credit score went all the way up. – Like, all the way up.
– My s–t’s in the 800s now since I been a white woman. – Oh, wow.
– Yeah. But bein’ a black woman in this business is—it can be challenging. I don’t think about it that way. Everything that I do, like stand-up comedy
and, and doin’ comedic movies, that’s kind of a man’s world. And so I figure, “OK,
if—how do the boys play? I’mma try to play like how they
play.” I go hard in the paint. – You just go hard in the paint. – I go hard in the paint.
– You know what? I like that because you inspire a
lotta women, and you have to keep up. – Thank you.
– My daughter, she watch your movies. – Oh, yeah?
– And I told my daughter I was shooting with you. I didn’t know if my daughter know you, you know? – All the kids know me. – I was like, “Do you know her?” She’s like, “Of course, Dad!” – “She the Groupon lady!” – “OK.” I say, “OK, OK.” – You know I’m international? – Yeah, yeah. I see, I see.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m poppin’ all over the world. – What is your book about? – My book is about me. – About you? You what?
– Yeah, Tiffany Haddish, “The Last Black Unicorn.” It’s about my journey from, you know, bein’ a kid, goin’ through the foster care system, bein’ homeless, bein’ married—
– Let’s say now you RICH rich, huh? – No, I’m not RICH rich, but I can afford— – You are.
– Mmmm— – No?
– Mmmm, I mean, I’m not makin’ basketball money, but I’m winnin’. – I mean, I mean—yeah, yeah.
– You know? I’m not worried about payin’ the light bill, you know? I’m not sittin’ in the dark, you know? I can afford solar panels now. – So what was your first big break? – I think my first big break is when I
did stand-up on “The Arsenio Hall Show.” – You still loving doing that? – I LOVE stand-up. That’s my first love. That’s, like, I’m gonna do that—
– That’s your baby. – That’s my baby.
– But you making more money in doing movies, right, for sure? – Mmmm—
– No? Oh, wow. And you still doing that, like, regularly or sometimes?
– Yeah, I still do it, I still do it. I haven’t slowed down. – What was it like hosting “Sen-el”? – [Offscreen]: SNL. – [Together]: SNL!
– [Ibaka] SNL. SNL. OK. Hey, hey that’s not funny.
– Well, when I hosted “Sen-el—” – No, I’m gonna start my question again! – [Laughing] – What was it like hosting SNL? – I learned a lot about myself hosting SNL. It was a dream of mine to be on the show, like, to be a cast member. And then to be asked to host was, like, super huge for me. And I had this notebook, like, this thick, with all kinda sketches—
– Oh, wow. – And characters that I’ve written and stuff. And so when I came in there, I was like, “Hey, I wanna do all this!” And they’re like, “Uhhh, you know, this is a machine that’s been runnin’ for over 40 years, and we got a certain way that we like to do, do things. You do whatever you want in your monologue,
but we gonna take care of everything else. And so I was, like, actively tryna get people to do my ideas—
– Yeah? – And they was like, “No—”
– Didn’t work, huh? – “We gonna do what we do.” So I was mad, maybe for, like, a day-and-a-half. I lost 10 pounds, so that was great.
– Ten pounds? – Yeah, I lost 10 pounds cuz I was stressed out. I was really mad cuz I was like, “Come on, guys! This is gonna be funny. I promise you!” And they’re like, “No, no, no. We’re gonna do this.” And then I just put all my energy into my monologue, and I won an Emmy. – Oh, you did?
– And I was the very first African American female stand-up comedian to ever host it. – Did you think you would win an Emmy? – I did not think I would win an Emmy. I didn’t even know you could get an Emmy for hosting.
– No? – I didn’t know that until they said, “Tiffany Haddish, you’re nominated for an Emmy.” I was like, “What?!” – Wow, uh-huh.
– Like, right now I’m nominated for, like, four People’s Choice Awards. I didn’t even— I’m like, “What does that mean?” They’re like, “People like what you did.” I’m like, “Ohhh—” – Oh, that’s good.
– “Cool.” And they’re like, “Can you promote that?” And I’m like, “I’m not about to—”
– How you gonna promote that? Like, what’d they say?
– I don’t know. They were, like, sayin’—they said, “Make videos.” – Yeah, you should do it. – Yeah, but what—beggin’ for votes? – Ah, they ask you to beg for votes?
– Yeah. I’m like, “Pssh, why would I do that?” But if you’re interested in voting for Tiffany Haddish—
– [Offscreen:] [Laughing] – For an Emmy for Best Voice Actress, and—
– You can, you can say that. The cameras wanna—exactly. – Yeah, would you—boy, whatchu think I’m doin?!
– My bad, my bad. I know you’re a pro, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. Did you really poo in your ex’s shoe? – Yes, I did poop in my ex’s shoe. – What?! – In some Jordans.
– Ohhh. – Yeah, I, I was—
– I’m sure he was pissed! – Yeah, he was more than pissed! – He was mad, huh?
– Yeahhh. I was more mad. He cheated on me on—on videotape. – Oh, videotape.
– On my birthday. – OK. – [Sighing] I was very upset. I was emotional, and I felt like he had pooed on my soul. – So you say—
– So then I decided to poop on the sole of his shoes. – [Laughing] – Then I asked him if he wanted to go play basketball, cuz we used to play basketball together all the time. And he had just got these brand-new Jordans— – Wow.
– And he left ‘em at my house. And so I put ‘em right over my bootyhole and… – [Laughing] – Put the shoe back in the box, and I brought ‘em up to— – Back in the box?!
– I put ‘em back in the box. – Brand-new. Oh, my God. – Brand new shoes. Brought ‘em over to his house—
– OK. – And was like, “Babe, let’s go play basketball. Put your new Js on. You gonna kill ‘em on the court! You gonna be the flyest dude on the court in your new Js!” And, uh, and he put his foot in his shoe— – Oh, he didn’t know!
– And he pulled his foot out, and I made sure I ate corn too so that he knew it was human.
– [Laughing] – And he pulled his foot out, and he was like, “Oh my God, somebody ____ in my shoe!” And I was like, “Yeah!”
– Yeah. – “For all the ____ you put me through, now you walkin’ in it mother—” And I ran out the house, right? – Yeah.
– And he—and I knew he wasn’t gonna chase me because he not fittin’ to track doodoo all through his mama house. – Wow. That’s what—I don’t know where you find the idea to do that. – Mhmm. Because I was mad. And I just wanted to get revenge—
– Revenge. – Without goin’ to jail. These are things—I think every woman thinks of stuff like this, and they—maybe they don’t act on it.
– OK. – And I had acted on it that time. If y’all want, I’m puttin’ out my new special on December the 3rd. And in that special, I’m talkin’ about ways to get revenge without goin’ to jail. Check it out. It’s called “Black Mitzvah.” – It’s for women or men too? – Men—I guess men could do these things too. – Yeah, without goin’ to jail.
– I mean, you could, you could poop in a stiletto, I guess. – No, I can’t do that.
– I mean, but they would see it. I mean, yeah, you big. It’d probably be too much. – [Laughing] – Who is your celebrity crush? – Oh, I like No. 27 on the New York Yankees. His name is, uh, Giancarlo Stanton. And also I like, um, Leonardo DiCaprio. – OK, is—
– I like Michael B. Jordan. I also like, uh, Trevor Noah.
– Trevor Noah? – Mhmm.
– OK. Those are your celebrity crushes? – Yeah. I have a lil’ variety pack. None of them like me like that, but, you know, it’s OK. – How you know?
– Cuz I’ve, I’ve approached them. – [Laughing]
– OK. – I mean, I walked right up to Leonardo—
– I mean, like— – And was like, “What it do, baby?” You know, he was like, “Ohhh, you’re hilarious!”
– Yeah, you already know, babyyy! – “Get outta here, get outta here.” – [Ibaka:] What is the craziest thing you ever ate? – The craziest thing I ever ate was rat. – Say again.
– Rat. – Rat?
– R-A-T. Rat. [Imitating rodent gnawing] – Big one or small one?
– It was pretty big. – Where?
– In Japan. – Oh, OK.
– Yeah, it was on a stick. I thought it was chicken. It was delicious. – You didn’t know? – It was a dollar each stick, right? So I was like— – One dollar?
– Killin’ ‘em. I was killin’ ‘em. I was on my fourth stick, and they was like, “You like that a lot, huh?” – Mhmm.
– I was like, “Yeah, I love this!” And they was like, “It’s rat.” I was like, “It’s what?!” And they was like, “It’s rat.” And I was like—
– Too late. – “Bring me one more stick.” – [Laughing] – I’m sure you will enjoy what I just cooked for you then. – What is it? – It’s, it’s better. It’s good.
– Oh, OK. It’s not rat? – No, no, no. Way far from that. It’s, it’s good. You’ll love it.
– OK. – Before I present you the meal— – Mhmm.
– I have three Spicy Questions for you. If you don’t answer those questions, I have some drink. You have to drink a shot, you have to take a shot. – OK. A shot of what? – OK. A shot of what? – This is cricket tea. – You know, I grew up in the ghetto, so I’m sure I’ve eaten lots of roaches in my time.
– All right then. – Yeah. Oh, you gonna make it thick too. – Yeah.
– OK. – Question No. 1: Worst co-star in a movie? – Worst co-star in a movie that I was in.
– Yeah, your worst co-star in a movie you was in. – Oh, OK so I was in this movie called “Keanu.”
– OK. – And the cat was the worst. – The who?
– The cat that was— – It was a movie about a cat—
-No, no, no. – The cat—her name is Clementine she was the worst.
– No, no, no, I don’t buy that one. – [Meowing] – Can I ask you some Spicy Questions? – No, it’s Spicy Questions—only three questions come from me. – OK, but can I ask you some questions and see if you—
– No, you cannot ask it. – You can’t ask nobody to do somethin’— – You can ask—
– That you not willin’ to do yourself. – My question No. 2: Who’s a celebrity who turned you down? Or you got, you had—
– [Sighing] Leonardo DiCaprio, Trevor Noah, Michael B. Jordan and Giancarlo Stanton. – So who’s the celebrity you turned down? – The celebrity that I turned down? – Yes. – Ain’t no celebrity came at me. – Come on.
– Don’t no celebrities come at me. – No.
– Uhhh, oh, you know what? – Yeahhh, go ahead.
– I did hook up with one celebrity. – OK.
– But this was a long time ago. This is the early 2000s. – Who is—who’s his name? What’s his name?
– I mean, I, I talked about him— Chingy. – [Laughing]
– See? He was poppin’ back then. When I hooked up with him, he was poppin’! So, Serge, I’ve answered all your lil’ Spicy Questions. Think you should be drinkin’ your drink. – …No.
– Yeah! You gotta drink it. – One—I’ll give you one question. – Gimme one question?
– I choose one or this drink, yeah. – OK, so why you and Keri Hilson break up? – [Laughing and applause] – [Laughing] I knew he would drink off of that. I knew it. – How hungry are you?
– I’m very hungry. – I know you like to garden. – Yes, I love to garden. – And I made you a salad, OK? Salad, but it’s worm salad.
– Mealworms. You not gonna cook ‘em first? – No, I cooked already. I have more, don’t worry. – So you made a salad.
– Yeah. – And you—it took you two hours to make— how’d it take you two hours to make some damn, Mealworms!
– It was—I wanted to make sure— – I wanted to make sure it taste good. – Lemme see you eat one of those.
– No, you gonna try it. – OK. This must—
– Yeahhh. – What about what I cooked for you? – I wanna try too, yeah. – Jordi, Jordi.
– [Offscreen:] Yeah, yeah, I’m right here. – Jordi, did you put it in the, in the oven?
– [Offscreen:] Yeah, it’s in the oven, yeah. – OK, Jordi, thank you for doin’ that. – [Offscreen:] No problem.
– Serge, I cooked for you too. I’mma give you both of ‘em. You look like you real hungry. – I am very hungry. – I made a gravy—
– Gravy. – And some rice, and I had sautéed some okra. – Let’s enjoy it.
– But do you want a little bit of salad? – No—
– You should get a little salad for your plate. Just a little salad. Let me pray over it first, hold up. Heavenly Father, I approach your throne in your son’s name. Please don’t let these mealworms make me sick or gimme any kinda infection or somethin’ like that, cuz I would hate to be on the front page sayin’, “Serge Ibaka gave me an infection.” All right, amen. I love you.
– Amen. – Amen.
– OK, let’s do it. – OK. – What do you think about the salad? It’s not bad, right?
– It’s delicious. – [Laughing] – [Jordi:] Make sure you’re getting the worms in there. – Oh, there’s worms in every bite. – So did you make this yourself or did you buy it?
– Yeah, I made it myself. – Oh, wow! OK, I see you. Made with, with chicken, huh? – Bon apétit. – Merci. – That’s pigeon. You eatin’ pigeon. – Wait, what? What, what is pigeon? – City birds.
– Huh? – Flying rats. – What is flying rat? Jordi? – [Laughing] – This not chicken? At least I told you what, what I was— – [Laughing] – But you like it!
– I mean— – You like it. Keep eatin’. You know it’s chicken. Come on, you know your food.
– It’s chicken, right? – Yeah, it’s chicken. – I know, it taste good because—you never know. It’s good. Are you sure it’s chicken?
– Yeah, It’s chicken. – Are you sure?
– It’s chicken! – All right, it taste good then. – [Laughing] – I don’t know if I trust you now. You are my first guest who finished everything. – I told you I was hungry, dawg. I think you gotta come up with somethin’ else, man. – What, I’mma get you—
– This is nothin’! – This is nothing? – You talkin’ to one of the bravest people in the game right here. – No, you are. I’ll give you that. – She not scared of nothin’. – I know—
– I’m scared of the police. Now if you would’ve had a police open up, I’d be still runnin’. – [Laughing] – I would’ve been like, “It’s the police!” [Screaming] “Noooo!” – [Offscreen:] Two, three, four. – [Offscreen:] Two, three, four. And one more. – Whoa! – [Laughing Offscreen] – [Laughing Offscreen] No, those weren’t moving. It feels funny in your hands too when they move. – It feels good when you put it on your skin. Like, tickly. – It’s not really finished finished, but it’s close enough.
– [Offscreen:] Yeah – [Offscreen:] One, two, three. Thank you. ♪♪♪